Where your attention goes, your energy flows. It may sound new-age corny, but it’s the truth. How many times have you seen someone get stuck in a loop of negativity where every time you talk to them, it’s the same problem over and over and over? The same job problems, the same relationship problems, the same friend problems, the same drama. Or perhaps you’ve done this as well? Finding yourself ruminating over things you would really like to change and move on from.
There are some things you can’t control in life, but there are many things you can. One thing you can control is what and who you focus on. The problem we often have is giving too much of our attention to who and what we don’t want in our lives. The more attention and thought you give to people and things you don’t want, the more it multiplies. Don’t feed the drama monster. Think about the logic of this. Why grow and feed what you don’t want? If you don’t want it, don’t focus on it. Just think of all the time and energy you will free up to crush your goals and enjoy your life!
Next time you find yourself getting upset over someone who doesn’t deserve your attention or focusing on your problems, shift your thoughts to the people you love and the solutions that are going to move you forward. Continuing to put emotions and mental effort into everything you don’t want only makes it more prevalent in your life. Perhaps you’re dealing with a difficult person who thrives off getting your attention and reaction. Instead of supplying them with the drama they thrive off, stop reacting. Cut off the supply.
No matter how much you want to give them a verbal lashing, just cut it off. Think hard about what’s keeping you involved; the need to be right? The need to win? Who cares. That’s just your ego talking. You know what is actually winning? Getting a toxic person/situation out of your life, moving forward with dignity, and living a great life. If this is someone you can remove from your life all together, do so. If this is someone you are forced to deal with via work or social/familial circles, reduce your interaction as much as possible. Most importantly, there’s no need to act nasty back to them. Again, by reacting you are only feeding to the drama and their need to get under your skin. The best thing you can do is move forward and not allow them to affect you.
The same goes for other problems in your life. If you hate your job, instead of complaining and dwelling on how awful it is, start creating an action plan on how to get a better job. When you start consciously shifting your attention to what you do want, you’ll find things start changing for the better. This doesn’t mean you ignore your problems or act like they don’t exist; it means instead of ruminating on negativity, you focus on finding solutions. People and circumstances can only affect you as much as you let them. It’s up to you to make the decision on what you allow to impact your life. So, next time you face a challenging situation or person, make a conscious effort to shift your focus on what will actually move you in the direction you want to go.