We already know that planning a wedding can be hard, but being a bridesmaid is its own challenge. There’s a lot of expectations for bridesmaids, and it’s up to us to figure out how to best support the bride while also giving the bride the space she needs. Are you a first time bridesmaid who needs a few tips on how to do a good job? We’re here for you. And heads up – it’s more than just showing up to the events on time.
photo credit: Bridesmaids, Universal Pictures
If you’re worried about finances, tell the bride upfront
Don’t withhold any important information from the bride-to-be. If you’re worried about how much being a bridesmaid is going to cost, tell her before you agree to be a part of the wedding party. Make it part of a constructive conversation and focus on how you can best support the bride without breaking the bank. So long as you’re willing to work with the bride on a solution, you’ll come out looking like the best friend.
Reach out to the other bridesmaids
You’re going to be spending a lot of time with these other ladies, so may as well get to know them first! Don’t hesitate to reach out and see if they want to do a group brunch without the bride. You’ll get to know each other, be able to plan surprises for the bride-to-be, and potentially make lasting friendships.
Don’t ask too many questions
Once you’ve befriended your fellow bridesmaids, you can rely on each other for questions about the wedding – instead of relying on the bride. She’ll have so many things on her mind that she’ll appreciate not being asked any additional questions. And when you do ask her something, she’ll know it’s important and will take the time to listen.
Figure out early on who is doing what
Part of being a bridesmaid is getting to go to all of the amazing events, but it’s also a lot of prep work. Decide early on which bridesmaid is responsible for what, and use a cloud share (like Google Drive) to keep track of it all. Making sure that everyone has access to the same information at all times will prevent miscommunications.
Prep for emergencies
Make sure your bride knows she can rely on you. Whether it’s carrying a spare bobby pin, a list of back up DJs, or having a vodka shot handy – prep for any emergency and have those materials with you. Trust me – the party will thank you.
Advocate for the bride
Throughout the wedding day, take charge on behalf of the bride. If she needs to rest but the place cards need to get distributed, handle it on her behalf. If her mother-in-law is insisting that the bride is in a certain place, intermediate between the two. Of course, exactly how things are handled depends on the bride, but volunteering as day-of support for the bride will go a long way.
Pretend you love your dress
Even if you don’t, take one for the team and act like you love it. Not only will you make your bride happy – but you can celebrate once the wedding is over by repurposing it into something you’ll actually use.
Consistently offer help
Even if the bride doesn’t take you up on it, don’t forget to make an effort to offer your help with wedding prep as the big day inches closer. Letting your bride know that you support her and that you’re there to listen is incredibly important, and will strengthen your friendship for years down the road.