Hypercritical people. You know who they are. They’re constantly finding reasons to complain, nothing is ever good enough for them and being around them is like walking on egg shells. You can’t do anything right around them. You never know if you’re going to do something that they will find some petty reason to criticize you for. They think their way is better than everyone else’s, while ironically being dissatisfied with their own lives. These types of people are unhealthy for your self-esteem and are exactly the type of people you need to take with a grain of salt.
Here are 3 major reasons you need to release hypercritical people and their opinions from your life:
They’re Probably Not Who You Want to Be/Where You Want To Be
As the saying goes, “You’re the sum of the 5 people who are closest to you.” We do have a choice of who we surround ourselves with. Make an effort to surround yourself with people who inspire and encourage you. It’s also important to recognize the difference between constructive, helpful criticism and negative vitriol that is meant to harm you. This doesn’t mean that everyone should kiss up to you, but a good person in your life can offer you sound advice and helpful criticism that comes from a place of love, not intention to harm. When taking advice or listening to opinions, always consider the source. If someone is not the type of person you want to be or the type of person who resonates with who you are, why would you give their negative opinion any merit? We’re all different. Everyone has a right to their opinion and you have the right to ignore it. Because opinions are just that -opinions. Not necessarily truths or facts, just opinions. It’s important that you know how to decipher who’s worth listening to and allowing into your life.
Gravitate toward leaders, family members, friends, colleagues, and mentors who inspire you and make you want to be a better person. Look to those people for examples and accurate opinions. Sometimes these people are obvious leaders like Oprah, other times they’re just regular people who have beautiful souls and are wise beyond their years. In fact some of the most wise, kind, happy people I’ve personally met have been of average means but of extraordinary souls. The bottom line is, if you don’t admire someone, take their words and opinions with a grain of salt.
They’re Not Coming From a Healthy Place
I’m yet to meet a hypercritical person who is fully happy and satisfied with their lives. These types of people are usually coming from one of many toxic places: domination, boredom, discrimination/racism, meglomania/ego, jealousy/envy, unhappiness/dissatisfaction with their own lives, and a multitude of other unhealthy reasons. These are not people whose goal is to help you do better, these are people whose sole purpose is to knock you down. When you realize that, their words become a lot less important. Give no merit to miserable people. It’s likely there’s something about you that they’re envious of. Sadly, the more you have of what a toxic person wants, the more they will try to drag you down. Realizing this early on can save you a lot of grief. It’s important to remember that no truly secure, healthy, happy person feels the need to sabotage others. It just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean that every secure, healthy, happy person likes every single person on the planet, but it does mean they know how to live and let live peacefully.
Focusing on Negative Opinions Never Serves Your Well-being
It’s unfortunate that humans always remember the bad things people say over the good things. We can forget a compliment in a couple weeks, but remember an insult for life. Unfortunately, our brains are wired to react to negativity with anxiety that deeply instills bad memories in our minds. Of course, this does have utility to our personal growth -to a certain extent. Negative experiences do help us recognize our shortcomings and help us grow as individuals. Dealing with negativity and adversity in life is beneficial to realizing our full potential. In fact, we need it to mature and become strong adults. However, the difference between how it affects you long term is how you deal with it. It’s the classic “turning lemons into lemonade” mentality.
This brings us back to knowing the difference between when someone is being constructive or intentionally harmful. While it’s important to learn from negative experiences and opinions, it’s equally important to release them and move on. Pining over the opinions of hypercritical people will never serve your well-being.
Release those toxic people and opinions from your life and make a conscious decision to move toward people who support and encourage you. Your time is limited; don’t waste it on negative people who don’t appreciate you and want the best for you!
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